Bob S - Musician and Partner
In 1995 I came back from a year in St Louis, moving in with my friends Sue and Sue. I was rather depressed, even though I found a great job quickly and had my friends to keep me company. I kept berating myself for having let myself be used so thoroughly by Ryan. I cried as I drove to work. Why had I trusted him when he was being so blatant in his cheating? Why hadn't I immediately come home to James as soon as it began happening? I began dating again, but it was very hard - I didn't want to trust any guy ever again.
Then Bob See began to come back into my life. Bob had actually been at WPI back when I was there, and had been friends of people in my 'group'. He was very intelligent, was into computers, was into mountain biking and skiing. In fact he'd worked at a bike shop for several years. He played strategy games in my gaming group, and loved science fiction. So in one way or another we'd known each other for 9 years at this point.
Bob understood completely my moral code - the need for honesty, the ability to communicate about problems, the real importance of monogamy and trust in a relationship. He was fully willing to be my best friend and partner in life.
By September 1995, I moved in with him. For a while we did a ton of mountain biking and skiing. Then I got into wine writing, and his band really took off and began playing gigs every weekend. I migrated from working for other companies to working for my own websites that I created. We did target shooting together, we played pool together, we went on travel adventures to all sorts of places.
We have been together for over 20 years now, and we are just as happy now as we were in the beginning. We still kiss each other goodbye in the morning, and hello in the evening. We hold hands when we walk, snuggle when we sleep. We text, email, and call each other regularly throughout the day.
Our friends say they can just tell we are truly a close pair by watching us, that we anticipate each other's movements and actions. We have each other completely in common.
The key comes down to honesty. We totally trust in each other, we are totally honest with each other. If there's an issue, we discuss it and resolve it. We are fully supportive of each other. When I got into writing about wine, Bob learned a great deal about it too and became a fantastic photographer for the magazine spreads of vineyards. When Bob got into motorcycles, I gladly documented our amazing trips and was encouraging about us going to new and interesting places. We are mutually supportive and always willing to put in the time and effort to help the other person out.
His intelligence is wonderful, no matter what new topic I take on or problem I encounter, he can help find a way to solve it. His friendship is amazing - he has many friends that recount the times Bob went far out of his way to lend a hand. He puts great effort into doing something right, researching it properly before starting the task, which has paid off very well in the end results.
In the end, for me, the only way a relationship can be truly happy, long term, is to have that total honesty and trust. I am very happy that I have found that in Bob and that we are together.
Guys I Have Dated
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