Dell customer support call(Yes, tech was fired, but he must have had fun with this one!):
T: Customer Service
C: I need help!
T: What seems to be your problem?
C: I canīt get the computer up and running.
T: Do you get anything, lights, sounds, anything?
C: No, nothing.
T: OK, is the PC plugged in?
C: Yes, I can see the plug going into the wall.
T: What about on the back of the PC, is it plugged in there?
C: I really canīt see back there.
T: Can you move it so the back is accessible?
C: Itīs kind of cramped up, I moved it a little bit.
T: Enough to see the back where the plug goes?
C: No, not quite. Itīs just too dark back there.
T: You need to get some light there so you can see.
C: Iīll have to call you back then.
T: You can use a desk lamp if you have one there.
C: No, the lamp is no problem, believe me!
T: Then why canīt you move it to see the back of the computer?
C: Because we just had a power failure and they say it will be hours before the power comes back on.
T: Oh........ On second thought, do you have all the original packaging that the computer came in?
C: Oh yes, itīs all right here.
T: Good, you need to pack it all up and take it back to where you got it from and ask for a refund.
C: Why? Is it that bad?
T: Iīm afraid it is.
C: What should I tell them?
T: Tell them that youīre too stupid to own a computer!
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